Have you ever heard of Attachment Styles?
Depending on how you bonded with your primary caregiver as a child, you may have some work to do on how you bond with others in intimate relationships, especially with romantic love interests. Relationships are hard enough nowadays with all of the distractions we are faced with on a daily basis.
Imagine learning how to navigate this turbulent terrain by simply learning about Attachment Styles!
I remember when I first discovered this study, which was conducted in the 1970s by psychologist Mary Ainsworth. My mind was blown, it was about seven years ago when I was first studying the lasting effects of childhood trauma on the brain and body. This study changed how I viewed relationships in a huge way. It made so much sense to me! I was finally able to concentrate on solutions rather than problems in my own love life. Now, I am not going to pretend it solved all my issues. But it gave me a roadmap to begin my journey of self-discovery.
I continued to make some very important mistakes but I was able to identify the "why" and that is the most important part of living Yoga off the Mat.
One of the most interesting parts of learning about Attachment Styles, was learning that you can change and grow into the secure person you were meant to be! How exciting! A study to prove that you are not doomed. LOVE IT!
Once I discovered my Attachment Style, I was able to notice why I attract or am attracted to certain people. This was where I was able to really begin some much needed healing and damage control. See, I am, ahem, was AVOIDANT. Which means, my level of "independence" was a hinderance to true connection with another because, I did not know what that looked like as a child. Instead, I manifested relationships with really insecure people or with other disconnected avoidant types.
It took a couple bops on my head and heart to realize that even though I knew this information, I needed to apply it to my life! Immediately.
Now...I bet you are curious about your own Attachment Style! You should be!
But before you go...watch the below video on my breakdown of the study on Attachment Styles. Then you may have a better idea of where you are on the spectrum and begin to do the work of becoming more secure.
Credit: Illustration by Jessica Olah, Verywell